I just got finished watching The Haunting in Connecticut when my cousin and brother asked me what other horror movies they could watch that would scare the hell out of them. So out of all the sick and twisted movies I could think of, I narrowed it down to five, and these are by far the scariest movies I have ever seen in my entire life.
In no particular order:
1) The Fourth Kind: Okay, aliens are one of my favorite things in the world, and this movie perfectly captures my absolute greatest fear—abduction. The acting could use a facelift, but the story’s there. And when they whoosh into her fucking room, I saw my whole life flash before my eyes and I probably peed in my boxers a little. The premise is intriguing, the amount of scary was just enough to feed my nightmares for a whole two weeks, and Milla is always a plus.
2) Lake Mungo: This fucking movie. Okay, so this is a little-known gem outside of Australia, but it’s so well done it’s almost believable. Like seriously, it made me fear house intruders a million times more and it was definitely mentally scarring (at least for me). The story is beautiful, the amount of creepy is perfection, and I can’t bring myself to watch it again I just cannot I’d fucking lose every ounce of dignity I have left.
3) Films to Keep You Awake: The Baby’s Room: This one I just watched because it was on On Demand and I was really bored one night and I wasn’t tired yet. Figured, why the hell not? I swear, that decision has haunted me ever since. That was the first movie that made me shit myself, I completely lost every ounce of composure, and when I showed it to my mom, I thought her heart would stop. Okay, maybe that was a bit extreme, but it really has haunted me and it made me promise that my baby would sleep in the room with us even if it woke us up every two minutes. Great acting, great premise, delivers on scares, fuck baby monitors forever that shit is like an omen of death, and Leonor Watling is a beautiful human being. This film really does keep you awake.
4) Noroi: The Curse: This movie is both what’s wrong and what’s right about Japan. Whoever thinks of shit as scary as this is a twisted fuck and I will hunt him down and bear his children while he feeds me mangoes during my gestation period. I cannot with this movie. It is so well done—it’s believable and is one of the prime examples of mockumentaries done sickeningly right. What may seem like unrelated events just happening simultaneously is actually a well thought-out plot that ties everything together beautifully. This movie is nightmare fuel for weeks, solid acting and amazing use of camera techniques, flawless premise, that fucking mask needs to burn in Satan’s ass forever, and ectoplasmic worms will never be not funny to me.
5) Insidious: Perfect example of a good premise taking a sudden detour to Shitsville, but it’s not without its good, deliciously scary moments. The first half was flawless and made me fear for my life (I really don’t know why I watch these fucking movies all by myself), especially the window scene JESUS FUCKING CHRIST JUST KILL ME NOW. The second part I wish would just vanish from the face of the earth, it is just so fucking ridiculous. The first part is the saving grace of this movie—it was well done, the acting was solid, the dancing kid still creeps the living shit out of me, fuck him and fuck the window guy, and I’d lower my expectations when it hits the 1 hour mark.